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10 June 2016

A typical Roza

It's 0023 still awake, few hours for exam to start. Went to sleep at 0200 am in the morning. Was quite afraid of sleep as it'd been two hours since I was trying to sleep but could not. 

Exam was quite okay. But the best thing was a sweet invigilator who was smiling I guess looking at me how helpless I was, she thought inside. I thought to ask her name but then I went away before time. Went to bus, and my eyes glanced at her. She was sitting at the place where once she was sitting in first year probably or later things are quite changed. She though later asked me how was my paper to which I said smiling good and asked her same but she than get intouch with the person sitting next to her. It's exactly 20 days today since my birthday and the things have change considerably. I mean its okay she don't want to keep the relation and is deflected to old so are the tracks but nevertheless, leaving rest on you god. May be some day will see that muslim too which i could not keeping this little faith in you allah, a human first than a follower of a religion a lover first than the admirer of islam may be some day... A person who itself will understand the difference between what she was and could be without stopping the knowledge sense that her god gave.

Its been few days I kept my roza kind of fast, quite un-usual yeah, not to restrain my body but yes negative sences of my body. The negativity which i want to refrain for ever and let the positivity from god enter in my soul. 

Since their was a incident, today itself, I was quite but I wonder if it was worth to say. One of our bus driver is also muslim quite offensive, mannerless and rude. I was quite sure he might have kept fast but was wondering what is the use of restraining yourself from hunger while other hunger is not controllable well its my opinion people may find it difficult to understand some including my love sky may find it a bit negative.

Anyway god give me the strength to refrain all kind of disillusion and illusions of life to be humble simple human as I can.
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