A tough day!

Well not well confused ? ought to be. Since it was a dark night so i lit light in amidst of asleep sleep of mine. Called a friend of mine inquired about so called campus which i wanted to give emm which i deadly wanted to be in ! INDIA ARMY. Well it was a bad night than went back to time thought for a while a little deep past night i found myself in tears but there was a ton things as I anyhow wanted to be in that. Since it's you being near to my heart is much far, you're busy nevertheless you have your goals unfortunately i don't. However all I was thinking to be a part of Army far from you which you always wished, may be memories that could reside by the time i leave but all i thought was your happiness doesn't matter if anything hurts me deep. It's not about love and care that i do to you but beyond that. It's not insanity not ought to vain in drain. May be I'm a bit mean as all i need is you despite of knowing that you're not mine. Well not today not in this birth but all i wish you be in next birth. Though I know you don't want, you may want to get rid of me well i would have done that if that would be your wish. At times I'm possessive bit hyper tends to own you though my actions but being loyal true didn't meant to hurt you. You too know I'd rather prefer to hurt myself than to you. 
Yesterday I too had a dream, like always. Unlike your's! I'm a bit depressed a bit frightened not because what you did that day when we met last but may be because i could not understand. Well.... life of aPoorV

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